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When You Love a Prodigal
Posted on September 17th, 2009 13 comments
There’s a long list of things that children do that break the hearts of their parents. The way to shred the heart of a Jesus-loving parent is not, as you might imagine, to reject Jesus, at least not that alone.I first accepted Jesus’ sacrifice for me when I was 12 in the Southern Baptist church my family attended. I held the new Bible they gave me with my name etched into it. I felt cleansed when I was pulled forth from the water of my baptism. For the next 15 years, God guided me from one mentor to another as I grew in love for Him. I eventually realized in college that my new friends were all Christian through no design of my own. Basketball appeared as the tie that bound us, but God was continuing to walk right alongside me in my journey. I discovered that there was a deeper walk through this group, a walk where spirituality mattered in every moment and every circumstance.
God called me into ministry; I would discover many years later that all of these college friends but one went into ministry as I did. I graduated college and immediately moved onto seminary. I departed for Dallas to attend Dallas Theological Seminary because it was the best seminary in all the land, the home of spiritual giants like Howard Hendricks, Charles Ryrie and Norman Geisler. I moved with no job, no money and no acceptance by the school. I hadn’t even applied yet to a school that must turn away most. God miraculously provided all I needed and my seminary career began.
I was exposed to minds, spirits and journeys that stretched me into understanding I had not known. I dreamed bigger than I ever dreamed. I pulled an index card off the school bulletin board that led me into a youth ministry position at a church plant. The parents loved me as the children embraced my unconventional approaches to …
And then there was none, the lights went dark, and the journey went tragically wrong. The way to shred the heart of a Jesus-loving parent is not to reject Jesus alone, it’s to be the guy described here as suddenly interrupted as the last paragraph. There is life, there is love for God, there is service to God’s people and then there isn’t.A parent who loves a prodigal child doesn’t just have their God and faith rejected, they have their God and their faith crippled from the inside. They don’t have the luxury of wondering only why their child has chosen a different path, an opposing path, they must also embrace that their child was believing, doing, even leading the spiritual charge and then he wasn’t. A prodigal run hurts much more than the prodigal himself, it sucks the life out of his supporting cast in exact proportion to how much the cast members loves and believes in the prodigal. Who loves and believes more than a mom or a dad?
There are three very important things I want these longsuffering moms and dads to know:
1. God pieced together all of my bad choices over 27 years into an array of help I can offer others as a prodigal returned. I have instant credibility with others who are hurting or making bad choices and hurting others or themselves. I don’t just have a ministry, I have real power in Christ to change lives as the Spirit leads me in a walk alongside prodigals on their journey back into the fold. God regularly delivers broken souls to me for this purpose; in every case so far, the person is struggling with something that I myself had to walk past to see God clearly again.
2. My mom and I are much closer than we have ever been. The last time I saw her we shared and “went Berean” for twelve consecutive hours as we searched for God’s will! This is a mom’s hope, isn’t it, that their relationship to their prodigal child would not just be restored but would be even better (by leaps and bounds).
3. In my absence and partly due to my prodigal run, God developed my mom into a spiritual giant! Moms and dads, do you long for your prodigal to view you this way? I love my mom with no bounds, a love that was perfectly marinated by a wonderfully loving God in 27 years of raging against Him, a love made now perfectly tender and intended to be shared only as exquisitely broken by the hand of a Master.
If you love a prodigal, I advise you to wait and to pray as God leads … but no one said when you see your prodigal in the distance that you can’t sprint faster than you’ve ever run. Your prodigal may return, admire you and be empowered to change lives.
God wins!!!!
I thought this was an appropriate song for this post:
Prodigal by Casting Crowns
13 responses to “When You Love a Prodigal”
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I have post on my blog called prodigal daughter returns, but I have not went through what you have and I still don’t feel my relationship with God is where it should be.
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Your link here isn’t working. What is the link to your blog?
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I pray many will see this, you do well letting this be known. I am the Mom of a prodical that has also come back as God’s child. The Lord never let me give up, he gave me strength and protection while going through the endever of watching my prodical son get to the bottom. The Lord’s strong and loving arms had me. Today I continue to pray as I know Satan did not want to let him go and may try to get him back under his stronghold. It cannot happen, we have an awesome God that gave us his son to take on our punishment.. We have a right to demand in the name of Jesus to leave our prodical return alone. Thank you, Jesus.
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Katherine Russell September 19th, 2009 at 03:01
Richard, you are very gifted in touching the lives of people where the pain lies hidden to most. I have watched it even here on Twitter. You add value and strength to those who are hurting and because of your own personal experience, you are able to relate to them through the Holy Spirit.
Thank you for giving hope to those of us with prodigal children. I have three sons, all raised in the church, who are all out there, doing their own thing. I stand on the Word of God, but it is so encouraging to witness the ministry of a restored child of God, such as yourself. God bless you and all you do for Him. -
Thanks, Brenda, I’m praying for your son’s protection right now.
Katherine, I can’t wait to see you run. What an amazing God we have!
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This is very encouraging - as parents we ‘never give up.’ What God desires will far exceed our expectations. We want our children back, God wants that one to bring Him glory!! Praise God for your testimony and blessings on your Mom that perservered.
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Thank you for expressing how I have felt but have been unable to put into words. I have come to believe loving a prodigal on the run is similar to the grief of a parent watching their child die. I have a friend whose child died of cancer and he once said, as he watched his son suffer from the cancer treatment, that his son was a shadow of the son he once knew. That is how I felt as I watched my daughter leave her faith, while she was at a Christian university preparing to enter into the ministry. This season of my life has produced some of the most humbling and painful moments I have ever experienced. However, I must also say that God has used these years to open my heart to others who are seeking and hurting. I am much more open to those who are struggling with things I never experienced. My dependence on my Heavenly Father is so much deeper. The realization that God is perfectly capable of creating a relationship with my children without my “meddling” (other than prayer) has been liberating. God is in the salvation business so I rest in the knowledge that I am to pray and love my children and let God do the rest.
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The obvious answer is Romans 8: 28 “All things work together for good for those who are Christ Jesus, for those who are called according to His purpose.” However, living the truth of God weaving my poor choices for my good is something else entirely. As I counsel others now, I come across difficult issues with complex people who may hate God, or their spouse, or have a problem with a parent. It doesn’t matter.
The threading of “all things” looks like this. God draws hurting people to me and makes it obvious who they are. As I learn more about each broken soul, there are specific things about my own crooked journey that allows me to minister to them. This confirms that God is at work (not me) for me and gives me great credibility with hurt people. I can talk about their hurt in their terms.
How might I have reached these people with the wrong turns? Since I can claim nothing but brokenness as merit, there’s no pride problem and it’s really obvious the Spirit must lead. Your daughter may be in the process of being perfectly prepared even in bad choices.
Follow @partnerinSanity on Twitter. She has a blog for parents of prodigals.
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Thanks for the Twitter suggestion. I already found her off your blog and started following her earlier today. I love prodigal stories so thank you for ministering through your life experiences.
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I have included my blog address, though unfortunately it is private and can be read by invitation from me.
I came over from Partners in Prayer . . . She and I connected 3 years ago in blogland because of our prodigal sons. My son is at Teen Challenge for the second time. He and I wrote his story together in blog form 3 years ago when he came home the first time. He almost died 5 times from heroin-related junk - overdoses, car accidents, etc. He was doing so great when pain pills sent him back spiraling down. He took himself out of school with less than a year left to his degree and headed back to TC. His heart is so open, and he loves the Lord so much. It is so hard for him when he gets back into the real world.
I love your story and your writing. I’ll be checking back.
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Dawn, when you say “she and I” are you referring to Diane?
I know the road is difficult; I didn’t struggle with addictions though I know some who have beaten that, too. I know addicts who are recovering and who dearly love the Lord, who are heavily involved in church and community activities.
Keep in touch here or find me as @mcProdigal on Twitter. There’s more stories coming.
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I really enjoyed this I have read the one about your vision on the wall before you know the apparition one my friend but had to catch up and refresh on this one good job. You have come through a lot.
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Prodigals are not always sons or daughters. I was the brother (well, sister in Christ) in the parable. When anyone comes back to God, who are we to question and fail to rejoice?
A prodigal run hurts much more than the prodigal himself, it sucks the life out of his supporting cast in exact proportion to how much the cast members loves and believes in the prodigal.
Absolutely know this statement.
Anger, fear, betrayal, pain, and judgment…. But God uses all things, even the ones that nearly kill us to make us useful.I’d rater see my prodigal get it than mourn the loss of one of God’s children. I had to come to the place that accepting him and loving him through restoration was far more important than my feelings.
Forgiveness and healing by the Holy Spirit released me and like you said, “God won!”
AMEN & AMEN
Praise God and glad you came back, Brother. You are indeed a blessing to many!
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